All testimonials

Unknown hands.

Hands on my skin,
to mend the wounds,
to make oneness, to feel my body alive,
to reconcile myself with myself.

Hands on my body,
to gather the thousand shards of my broken heart,
to revive the flame that seemed forever extinguished,
to speak in gestures the words never uttered,
to feel the joy of being alive,
to feel life and joy rising within me.

These hands that seem anonymous let me discover who I am, they reveal me to myself, as if they knew how to lift the secret, pierce the shell, and sing the song to break the deathly silence that hid from me a happiness within reach.

Workshop… I want to share with you what I have been feeling since last weekend at the retreat. To put it briefly, I would say: more alive, more aware. Saturday morning's breathwork certainly « unblocked » something in me. I feel lighter (I, who weigh 100 kg sometimes). Since then, there has been a sensation of soft warmth and the presence of an inner smile.

The encounter with the two women I shared the massage with touched me deeply. I was a little afraid of being parasitized by the unavoidable erotic dimension. This sacred sharing eased my inner tensions, I feel more « whole », both in giving and in receiving. Surrendering to the other, my feeling of vulnerability, my fragility — daring to share it freed me. Yes, more locks fell away this weekend.

The ritual moved and touched me too. I do not recognize myself; I felt the woman, the femininity in a singular way. I cannot find the words — simply know that I am happy (a rare state for me). I feel I am rediscovering that innocence lost long ago.

I would, however, like to slow the flow of my thoughts, which have been taking over too often since Sunday. Looking forward to seeing you again, with gratitude.

Kundalini, divine mother of love…

The fifth day of the summer workshop will be engraved in my memory forever.

Under the hands of my masseuse, an energy rises from my base chakra; bliss arrives. The rising continues to the plexus, an immense happiness fills me, an intense force, tears of joy flow. Beauty makes me lose control; and suddenly I feel above my head a powerful divine force filled with love, no fear. Total surrender before this love, this grace.

The energy becomes more and more present, it is here; I feel it could embrace the whole earth and all its beings. I am under its influence, I cannot control anything, and I am observer of what is happening.

The force penetrates me, everything turns yellow-orange in the room, words come out of my mouth. This « message » that I deliver to all those present — I do not master its meaning, my consciousness and my mind are as if asleep.

I suddenly see again all the trials of my life, those that brought me to this revelation. I no longer have any sense of time. Hands on my feet allowed me to come back present in the room; the descent into my body comes with a sensation of cold.

My life has changed since that day, everything has lightened, I feel cleansed, forgivenesses are granted, a great peace inhabits me. My contacts with others, humans, the world, are Love. I feel in harmony, in tune with my deep being. Humility, joy, happiness, trust have become my daily life. I bathe in bliss.

I was lost, distraught, abandoned, in total disorder with myself, but I knew one thing: that I still wanted to learn to give. That this would be my way of finding myself, of knowing who I was and of winning. So together, we agreed, we agreed to exchange — you with your experience, your calm and your forbearance, me with my spontaneity, my clumsiness but my truth.

Yes, I tell you that I want to tell the whole world what I have just lived and discovered on this 14th of July, expecting nothing, with no preconceptions, thanks to you, to the door you opened for me.

One has only to let go, to surrender to the embryonic state, like when one was a tiny baby — perhaps not even a foetus yet, just a few cells, only just formed.

Then everything bathes in a perfect amniotic fluid: that simple, soft sweetness that carries you and welcomes you. The hands of my masseur became nothing other than this amniotic fluid, this wonderful welcome, gentle yet vibrant, full of energy and promise — that you are loved as you are, for this acceptance of oneself.

To make this journey. To understand everything. Without necessarily putting words to it, all of a sudden, to understand one's whole life. The masseur's work cradles you and helps you assimilate many things, in all the languages of the world; no need to say or speak. His massage is a universal language and translates everything. To be oneself, to simply be. To be one's essence.

I have lived a new experience. I was myself, bathing in the delight of being totally free to be true. And I discovered another.

I was loved and carried towards a peaceful, immense lake, suddenly ablaze with violent fire. I bathed in softness, I felt my body filled with pleasure, and then I was seized by a torrent of force.

I felt the body, the soul and the animal energy. I was at once a spirit, a flesh, a will, a being overwhelmed with force and powerless. I was the one I know, and another. That other one, was me. Too. Perhaps the one I sometimes miss, that I confusedly seek without knowing it.

I want to welcome him, to grow like a diamond gaining new facets. This was only my second massage. Is this an unexpected path I am discovering, towards a sun that reveals other colors and other shadows? In any case, this will be a path I want to explore to discover the one I will find there, this stranger within me, this forgotten, neglected brother.

I have been fortunate to have received in the past massages of very high quality, which brought me physical pleasure and emotional renewal, in linked fashion. That was their purpose and they reached it magnificently. What I received this time is not a massage, but a passage towards… I do not know. Except that love and the force of life are its source.

I wish to express my esteem and admiration for the masseuse who carried and welcomed me, at once a willing guide and consenting instrument of a higher and natural movement. A spiritual companion of an unusual kind.

To be continued. Today I am happy with the gift I have received: my future has been enriched with an additional perspective of joy in living.

Workshop… « There, all is order and beauty, luxury, calm and pleasure. » (C. Baudelaire, Invitation to the Voyage)

This tantric massage workshop was for me like a great bubble of joy, of happiness, of freedom. To enter the bubble, to take, to give, to receive friendship, love, to fill up with happiness. It is pure, beautiful and simple. Nothing but generosity and respect, the desire to fulfil the other for what they have become in this magical moment: an extraordinary, luminous, radiant being. We are there for them, for ourselves, for life.

One has one's own experience there, one finds oneself face to face with oneself, with what one sensed or did not know of one's own emotions, on the surface of the skin or buried deep within one's being. One can explore forgotten stories or simply wander along this initiatory path thanks to her, to him, to their disinterested presence, to the love bestowed, to the arms that welcome you, to the hand that holds you, simply to accompany you on this return to oneself, in this voyage towards one's emotions, in this play with the senses.

Free, because not judged. Time seems to have stopped for the space of a few hours. Yet leaving the bubble and going off changed, with a swollen heart, wondering about the sublime and about the constraints.

Thank you again to those who made this possible.

My first tantric massage in March 2005 was a revelation: a revelation of desire, of pleasure, and of love inhabiting my whole being.

A revelation of the other so close to my heart in the communion I already feel. A man near me, attentive and gentle, who reveals to me what my body holds of energy and power of love.

Then the discovery that it is life within me asking to manifest itself in these so untied, so fluid exchanges. He accompanies me, this man whose hands offer far more than a massage. He guides me towards who I truly am, judging nothing.

Then massages follow one another, never alike, opening my body and my consciousness in a presence to myself and to the masseur, in a privileged relationship.

Pleasure rises, tears too, memories, rages of the heart, surprises, the « re »-traversals of painfully inscribed events. Opening myself to my body, welcoming what comes — that is what this man, so present to my whole being, offers me.

And my body opens and delivers me to myself in everything it contains, inviting me to release what is no longer useful. It also delivers me what it does not yet contain and which becomes possible, because finally accepted, welcomed and even desired, in consciousness.

The Vital Breath exercises consolidate this so fragile opening, lead me to want it intensely for the happiness it offers me of being myself. The space is created by the magic of the experience of this man who leads me there, and I am wonderfully present in it.

I know he is there and that I can go as far as possible into myself, in this extraordinary voyage of life within me and of what I can do with it. And when I close, it is like a sun going out. And whatever the awareness costs me that brings me back to this light within, the lamp this man lit in a thousand places of my body can never go out again.

Thank you to you, man who listens to me and lights my way with your hands, with your heart.

The first tantric massage by Cocoon is a wonderful surprise, because I discovered all the personal-development potential this kind of massage held, even though I remained a little shy that first time. As the beneficial effects last three weeks, the rhythm of once a month is perfect. I let myself be tamed by Cocoon, releasing within me all my life energy, gently accompanied by the masseur. I am today in an opening that draws happiness to me daily. I still discover, each time, a new dimension that enriches me and shows me unsuspected « corners » within. I am committed to a path that is worth all the therapies and that I would not leave for anything in the world.

It continues to today… It is so unbelievable. I am beginning to write to you what I felt during the massage, and although nearly 20 days have passed, I think it is like yesterday — still feeling it in my body and in my heart.

Not only did I have no expectations, but I also knew nothing of the process. I was open and full of trust. When you began to massage my back, I felt a strong pain on the heart side and started to cry — but after a very short time, while your hands moved more deeply over the whole back, the pain suddenly and very quickly disappeared.

When you began to move your hands from the neck downwards, I started to lose the sense of my body, I lost the gravity of my body, feeling lighter and lighter, and then there was only pleasure. I surrendered into this pleasure, and gradually, I began to feel more and more a sensual pleasure.

I felt as if a serpent were passing from the sex, to the belly, to the heart, and up to my head. Feeling only the energy, that I was in oneness. I had never felt such oneness before. I was only love, I was only energy. I felt my body wanting to stretch and shake. I surrendered into this inner movement, and it was like being in trance. I started having orgasms — no sense of the body as it usually is — I had lost all sense of the space around me — as if I were in another dimension. I felt myself expanding into… an inner ecstasy. I wanted to have more orgasms, but I wanted to keep this energy inside my body, I wanted to keep this inner vibration. I also had a strong burning sensation; my whole body was burning, especially on the front.

When I reopened my eyes, I felt as if time had been stopped — no time, no sense of where I really was. It was like a journey without dimensions. I felt love and saw the truth in it. I started to cry because of this love, this happiness, this freedom, this oneness, this experience.

In the days that followed, this burning sensation came inside my body suddenly, without doing anything, and it was incredible — starting from a wet feeling in my sex, then a kind of energy ran and ran inside me and made me feel so happy, so full of bliss, so much love and joy. It continues to this day. It is so unbelievable.

It was so deep, the last massage…

When I was lying on my belly and your hands were on my back, so many images and senses were so alive. I had the feeling that there was a baby, a baby boy inside the space of my belly, my widened belly. He was so beautiful and innocent. It was like the baby I never gave birth to, or who was from a past life. I did not feel sad — he was there to fill my belly, to fill my being.

And then my mother came before me. She was young, happy, beautiful, smiling at me. It was as if we knew each other so well, in a deep bond.

And then an immense and long road appeared, so long, endless. And for a moment the sun, bright and immense, appeared at the end of this endless road.

When you touched my legs, I began to feel a strong pain in my arms. I went inside to meet this pain, and slowly, slowly, several men came into the memory of my body — ugly, violent men, without any respect or sensitivity. They were before me. I was on the floor, legs open, feeling trapped, possessed by them. I could not move, I was in a prison, with the feeling that I was being mistreated by all these men. It was horrible, I started to cry. I wanted to escape, but at the same time I wanted to go further into this memory and release this blocked pain. My whole body was in pain, especially my legs and arms, but my heart too.

And suddenly, something began to release; the pain in my arms disappeared, I started to move my legs, to take back my power. Then I felt like a prostitute, but free. I felt the power and freedom to give myself when and where I wanted, even to these ugly and hard men. It was good to open my legs and give my body and my being because I felt the pleasure, the power and the freedom of being myself. It was as if nothing and no one could take away my power and my freedom, because they are always within me — they are me.

After that, it was such pleasure to discover, taste and smell the scent coming from my sex. I touched my sex, then I put my hands on my face, to touch myself, to feel myself, to smell myself, to taste myself. I was a newborn woman — so beautiful!

I felt you as an ocean, a widened ocean to be reached through the connected first chakra. You were the ocean — an endless ocean.

And in this open space a goddess appeared. She was also enormous, covering my whole body, beautiful and tender. She was the Divine Mother, touching my face so tenderly, caressing my whole body — so much love as I had never received before. It was the first time I received so much unconditional love from a feminine being. She was the goddess within me, my goddess — to take care of me always, to protect me, guide me, love me. My eyes were full of tears. The divine was there.

Such a beautiful and transformative journey!!!